Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
