omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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