lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
