on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
