i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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