can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
