the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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