Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
