just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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