why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He better not be in your backpack
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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