This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
