aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
