What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
