last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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