So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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