My sheets look like a crime scene.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
