He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
