She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
