Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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