i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
