my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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