We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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