can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
