bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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