Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
