Plan B is the new Plan A
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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