Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
