oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
