Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
