That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
