Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
