He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
