if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
