it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
