is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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