It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
