I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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