While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
