Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
