Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
that's an acceptable place to lick
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
