how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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