I wish i was in the wii world.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
