marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
