If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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