there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
