it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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