I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
