Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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