apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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