I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Holy shit dude........stairs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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