the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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