there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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