I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
