We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
