I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
